Twas the night before Clearance
And all through the aisle
Steamrollers were packed
Into my cart like a pile
Exo Suits were hung
In the storage with care
Knowing that in a decade
They still will be there
Sergeant Jyn Erso was nestled
Deep under my bed
With terrible proportions
And a face that looks dead
Wonder woman in her armor
And cheetah in her cap
The lasso of truth will tell you
That this set is pure crap
When out on my doorstep
A noise shook me awake
ShopJustice still delivering Olaf
Flat as a pancake
Faster shipping than FedEx
The turds as they came
I cried and I pouted
As I called them by name
"Now, Dots! now, Mario!
Now Lego Movie 1 and 2!
On, Raiders! on, Mighty Dinos!
On, Takodana and constractables too!
To the depths of the dumpster!
Stacked 50 feet tall
Now throw away! throw away!
throw away all!"
Each year I make efforts
To donate a bit more
But Toys for tots sends a bill
For returning them to my door
Since I can't give them away
I'll dig a big pit
It's the final solution
To get rid of this sh!t
I shook as I laughed
At the thought of relieving this pain
It was nearly 3am
So I looked quite insane
As I poured the kerosene
I cheered with delight
"I'll light you on fire,
So you're out of my sight"