What did you do today?

[Pseudoty]

How come you broke up sometimes we don't realize how impactful it will be in the moment, and any chance of reconciliation? I can relate to some extent I am in a long distance relationship and we see each other every other weekend and the time apart is brutal.

Try swimming, get up, get outside, fresh air and sunlight. 

[$20 on joe vs dan]

20 minutes ago, Pseudoty said:

How come you broke up sometimes we don't realize how impactful it will be in the moment, and any chance of reconciliation? I can relate to some extent I am in a long distance relationship and we see each other every other weekend and the time apart is brutal.

Try swimming, get up, get outside, fresh air and sunlight. 

wife found out.  It was give it up or separation (after 20 years of marriage this was the 1 time EVER we talked about Divorce)

I will take your advice...no point in trying to work today.  I will go run some errands outside and just listen to music while I force myself to get stuff done....

Thanks

Edited May 4, 2023 by $20 on joe vs dan

[Captain_Obvious]

1 hour ago, $20 on joe vs dan said:

YEARS of rehab before I could walk without a limp...finaly got back into shape

Congrats on making that happen, my man... 

• I recommend a book called, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck".
• Women are great motivators whether they're coming into your life or leaving.
• Motivation is a like a fart in the wind. It comes and goes. Dedication is what will get you to your goal (Klitschko). 
• What's your real goal, is it really yours, if still unsure read, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck".

Edited May 4, 2023 by Captain_Obvious

[Bricklectic]

3 minutes ago, Captain_Obvious said:

 

• Motivation is a like a fart in the wind. It comes and goes. Dedication is what will get you to your goal (Klitschko). 

Lol!

I prefer the lightning in the night analogy. It  illuminates the path, but its fleeting so you need to utilize the brief moment of clarity to plot out your next moves in life.

[TheOrcKing]

3 hours ago, $20 on joe vs dan said:

Flame away at how pathetically lame I am...maybe it will do me some good to get out of this funk.

Only bro hugs around here. It's the Giga Chad way.

[Migration]

On 5/4/2023 at 3:29 PM, $20 on joe vs dan said:

wife found out.  It was give it up or separation (after 20 years of marriage this was the 1 time EVER we talked about Divorce)

I will take your advice...no point in trying to work today.  I will go run some errands outside and just listen to music while I force myself to get stuff done....

Thanks

Perhaps the real conversation should be why you felt the need to form an emotional relationship with someone online instead of your wife of 20 years?

[gmpirate]

On 5/1/2023 at 8:24 AM, oneknightr said:

Congrats on your first home purchase! It's a great feeling.

On a related note, I made a career change after 20+ years in the financial industry to go into real estate. I passed my license exam a month ago and shadowed my first open house yesterday. It's scary making a career change in my late forties, but I was never really happy in corporate finance. Trying to find something that I'll be happy doing for the remainder of my work life. 

That's awesome!  If you really like this change you will do well!  Kudos to you for having the guts to do it.

[ravenb99]

8 hours ago, Migration said:

Perhaps the real conversation should be why you felt the need to form an emotional relationship with someone online instead of your wife of 20 years?

Seems like you are giving up the potential bonus sex too.  I mean if you are into those type of things...

[oneknightr]

8 hours ago, gmpirate said:

That's awesome!  If you really like this change you will do well!  Kudos to you for having the guts to do it.

Thank you! I'm hoping to be a living example of the quote: "If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life."

I have to add that in addition to guts, I am grateful that my wife's support of my decision and her job affords me the opportunity to make this move and give it a try. She's a divorce attorney. 

[Phil B]

Thank you! I'm hoping to be a living example of the quote: "If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life."
I have to add that in addition to guts, I am grateful that my wife's support of my decision and her job affords me the opportunity to make this move and give it a try. She's a divorce attorney. 

Must. Resist. Urge. To. Connect. Threads….

[zmnnch]

Two days ago, I was arguing with my wife because I am too strict to my 5th grader son.  I sat in my room and thought about what is wrong.

Therefore, last night, I decided to just watched the Lakers vs Warrior on ABC for like 3 hrs and say nothing when the kids play minecraft all night. 

I need more NBA Playoff games on ABC (sorry no cable)!

[46andTWO]

54 minutes ago, zmnnch said:

Two days ago, I was arguing with my wife because I am too strict to my 5th grader son.  I sat in my room and thought about what is wrong.

Therefore, last night, I decided to just watched the Lakers vs Warrior on ABC for like 3 hrs and say nothing when the kids play minecraft all night. 

I need more NBA Playoff games on ABC (sorry no cable)!

Sounds like you need an internet girlfriend. 🤣 

[BricksBrotha]

5 hours ago, zmnnch said:

Two days ago, I was arguing with my wife because I am too strict to my 5th grader son.  I sat in my room and thought about what is wrong.

Never under estimate the power of play.  It helps to step back from the authoritative role from time to time and immerse yourself in their world.

[$20 on joe vs dan]

On 5/6/2023 at 1:50 PM, Migration said:

Perhaps the real conversation should be why you felt the need to form an emotional relationship with someone online instead of your wife of 20 years?

I have pondered the WHY question quite a bit.  me posting it here was not to get into couples therapy but to share the bizarre experience of an internet relationship. I remember a few moths ago I read an article about an AI GF app and thought it was completely bonkers...but the article author, after trying it for a month found it very enlightening and ultimately decided it was more beneficial than an actual GF... yeah weird right?  Anyway fast forward a couple of months and I was in the same boat...but not AI (AFAIK..LOL)

Anyway I get that it's easy to joke about it.   Just sharing about a unique experience that's somewhat on topic on this thread. Honestly still working thru it.

[brickvoyeur]

4 hours ago, $20 on joe vs dan said:

I have pondered the WHY question quite a bit.  me posting it here was not to get into couples therapy but to share the bizarre experience of an internet relationship. I remember a few moths ago I read an article about an AI GF app and thought it was completely bonkers...but the article author, after trying it for a month found it very enlightening and ultimately decided it was more beneficial than an actual GF... yeah weird right?  Anyway fast forward a couple of months and I was in the same boat...but not AI (AFAIK..LOL)

Anyway I get that it's easy to joke about it.   Just sharing about a unique experience that's somewhat on topic on this thread. Honestly still working thru it.

The why is likely the same reason why other people do it, and why people are connecting with AI. It's simply easier and more appealing to connect with someone new than to work through the issues that caused you to get in this point in the first place. 

I went through a rough patch in my marriage and we distanced ourselves from each other. It took months for us to actually sit down and have the tough discussion that we needed to have, and to get down to the root of the issues. Ours had to do with the fact that in 5 years and 4 months we brought 4 little people into the world, and we were neglecting each other to take care of them. All that time wasted, and discussing divorce, because we couldn't just sit down and openly talk about things. It was definitely easier to pull away, but definitely better to reinvest in the marriage.

I suppose the first step is to figure out what you want. Once you know that, you will know which direction to work in. You just can't half-ass it either way as each moment wasted is one you won't get back. 

[$20 on joe vs dan]

5 hours ago, brickvoyeur said:

The why is likely the same reason why other people do it, and why people are connecting with AI. It's simply easier and more appealing to connect with someone new than to work through the issues that caused you to get in this point in the first place. 

I went through a rough patch in my marriage and we distanced ourselves from each other. It took months for us to actually sit down and have the tough discussion that we needed to have, and to get down to the root of the issues. Ours had to do with the fact that in 5 years and 4 months we brought 4 little people into the world, and we were neglecting each other to take care of them. All that time wasted, and discussing divorce, because we couldn't just sit down and openly talk about things. It was definitely easier to pull away, but definitely better to reinvest in the marriage.

I suppose the first step is to figure out what you want. Once you know that, you will know which direction to work in. You just can't half-ass it either way as each moment wasted is one you won't get back. 

thanks for sharing.  Glad you guys are communicating positively.

It's weird YK?  All the RomComs and even the fairy tales...the WHOLE story is about the romantic getting together... we are all conditioned to think that's the final goal..is the Alter.  NOPE! That's just the beginning. Happily Ever After...is DAMN HARD and it's a LOT longer to sustain. 

I will disagree that the new someone or something is all bad.  The AI GF app actually provides legit counseling that the user tends to be more receptive to than if it came from someone else.  Same for me.  I am definitely changed for the better in some aspects as the person I connected with was much more open about some topics than I was and I learned to be more open.  The growth I experienced was enlightening and now I am able to add that to my relationship with my wife and even our family.

At the end of it the biggest thing was getting my health back...I was having chest pains for some time and getting winded putting on my shoes every morning... but no matter what I tried I could not get going in terms of consistent exercise or diet improvements... nothing stuck...multiple starts and failures going on years. Looking back I could have lost my family but I could have also lost my life..I'm lucky I haven't lost either.  Cheers!

[$20 on joe vs dan]

On 5/6/2023 at 1:50 PM, Migration said:

Perhaps the real conversation should be why you felt the need to form an emotional relationship with someone online instead of your wife of 20 years?

I was volunteering at a school booth w/ another guy.  He had a daughter in my son's class.  Anyway it's his last one "through the system" ( has two others in college) and he seemed pretty happy.  He told me he and his wife have a great relationship...because she's an early bird and he's a night owl so they rarely see each other.

anyone who has been married long enough can TOTALLY RELATE.  Most happy couples I see live very happy lives AWAY from each other....passing ships in the night. Even my inlaws were most happiest when they took turns staying with us helping us raise our boy...  The miserable ones tend to be forced to be together because they work together in a small business or some other capacity.

The more time you are with someone ...the greater the chance of taking the other for granted and resentment brews. We can all be on our high horse and say this or that on why that's not us...but throw in kids...inlaws..mortgage(s)...car payments...jobs...careers...and the random life surprises...and well no one really knows right?

[Pseudoty]

14 minutes ago, $20 on joe vs dan said:

I will disagree that the new someone or something is all bad.  The AI GF app actually provides legit counseling that the user tends to be more receptive to than if it came from someone else.  Same for me.  I am definitely changed for the better in some aspects as the person I connected with was much more open about some topics than I was and I learned to be more open.  The growth I experienced was enlightening and now I am able to add that to my relationship with my wife and even our family.

This is interesting to me. I just spent a great weekend with my GF, she built the OWL from the HP Icons set during down time  

We text A LOT during the week and the iPhone AI word prediction actually helps guide the replies. We both agree that when in person that we also actually miss the text aspect of our relationship, so it does fulfill an alternate communicative need. There are some things better said in text then over the phone and vice versa. 

[Captain_Obvious]

Had to go to a last-minute conference in Orlando this week. The team wanted to do some heavy drinking on the last day. Unfortunately, I had something much more urgent to do...

[$20 on joe vs dan]

On 5/9/2023 at 10:33 AM, Pseudoty said:

This is interesting to me. I just spent a great weekend with my GF, she built the OWL from the HP Icons set during down time  

We text A LOT during the week and the iPhone AI word prediction actually helps guide the replies. We both agree that when in person that we also actually miss the text aspect of our relationship, so it does fulfill an alternate communicative need. There are some things better said in text then over the phone and vice versa. 

[I sent an earlier reply to this but looks like Mods wiped it]

Basically I discovered how messaging can be a very different experience when between spouses, GF/BF, etc. I think the written text triggers different areas of the brain then just speaking in person.  Women also are the biggest consumers of romance novels...I think they are wired a bit differently to take in written "romance" gestures...hits them differently and then that causes our response to them to be different as well.

 

I highly recommend couples to try it if they haven't.  It was an eye opener for me...

Edited May 12, 2023 by $20 on joe vs dan

[Darth_Raichu]

On 5/9/2023 at 11:19 AM, $20 on joe vs dan said:

It's weird YK?  All the RomComs and even the fairy tales...the WHOLE story is about the romantic getting together... we are all conditioned to think that's the final goal..is the Alter.  NOPE! That's just the beginning. Happily Ever After...is DAMN HARD and it's a LOT longer to sustain. 

The modern culture put too much emphasis on the "wedding" instead of the "marriage".  Just look at how much time, money, and resources are put into planning the average wedding ceremony.  IMO, engaged couples should invest more time learning about what marriage is and what it is not, just to level set their expectations.

 

[TheOrcKing]

On 5/12/2023 at 1:38 PM, Darth_Raichu said:

The modern culture put too much emphasis on the "wedding" instead of the "marriage".  Just look at how much time, money, and resources are put into planning the average wedding ceremony.  IMO, engaged couples should invest more time learning about what marriage is and what it is not, just to level set their expectations.

 

The wedding industry is such a scam capitalizing on how people can be goaded into displaying wealth they do not have. Most of what is marketed as "tradition" can be attributed back to some rich person did it. (Queen Victoria wearing a white fabric dress with a wedding cake made from white sugar, both of which at the time were stupid expensive.) Then there is the rip-off market of engagement rings and diamonds which even former De Beers Chairman, Nicky Oppenheimer, stated are "intrinsically worthless".

To me, a true wedding is supposed to be the celebration in the unity of two persons who care very deeply for one another wishing to grow old together until their time on this Earth is done. Not how much capital one can spend on a single day to impress others who could not care less whether the couple stays together or not.

A relationship is never set in stone and must be worked on every single day. Some days are more challenging than others, some days we will say something we wished we had not, and sometimes a simple apology is not enough. (And some mistakes are simply unforgivable.) How we act when the going gets tough is the truest strength of character and how much we have grown as a person or give an opportunity to become better.

What a marriage is varies from person to person. I just know nothing is perfect nor should be abusive ever. Also, don't cheat.

 

On 5/9/2023 at 12:19 PM, $20 on joe vs dan said:

It's weird YK?  All the RomComs and even the fairy tales...the WHOLE story is about the romantic getting together... we are all conditioned to think that's the final goal..is the Alter.  NOPE! That's just the beginning. Happily Ever After...is DAMN HARD and it's a LOT longer to sustain.

I believe many romantic comedies suffer from being written by guys infatuated with the idea of love without actually understanding what love is. And we could have a "Cinema Sins" field day on everything not right about fairy tales of the original classic fable variety to the Disney edition retelling filled with several creative liberties.

Well anyway. How are doing today, my man? Hopefully for the better.

[$20 on joe vs dan]

On 5/13/2023 at 11:30 PM, TheOrcKing said:

The wedding industry is such a scam capitalizing on how people can be goaded into displaying wealth they do not have. Most of what is marketed as "tradition" can be attributed back to some rich person did it. (Queen Victoria wearing a white fabric dress with a wedding cake made from white sugar, both of which at the time were stupid expensive.) Then there is the rip-off market of engagement rings and diamonds which even former De Beers Chairman, Nicky Oppenheimer, stated are "intrinsically worthless".

To me, a true wedding is supposed to be the celebration in the unity of two persons who care very deeply for one another wishing to grow old together until their time on this Earth is done. Not how much capital one can spend on a single day to impress others who could not care less whether the couple stays together or not.

A relationship is never set in stone and must be worked on every single day. Some days are more challenging than others, some days we will say something we wished we had not, and sometimes a simple apology is not enough. (And some mistakes are simply unforgivable.) How we act when the going gets tough is the truest strength of character and how much we have grown as a person or give an opportunity to become better.

What a marriage is varies from person to person. I just know nothing is perfect nor should be abusive ever. Also, don't cheat.

 

I believe many romantic comedies suffer from being written by guys infatuated with the idea of love without actually understanding what love is. And we could have a "Cinema Sins" field day on everything not right about fairy tales of the original classic fable variety to the Disney edition retelling filled with several creative liberties.

Well anyway. How are doing today, my man? Hopefully for the better.

Hey thanks for asking.  I think I am doing a little better and we are doin better as well. Also it's been a huge positive that I am still working out. I mean I still have a long road ahead..for mothers day dinner I tried on a dress shirt I haven't worn in ages (not even fitted)...and lets say I opted for the open unbuttoned over a black T-shirt look.

Going back to our post I think in modern days the science that the frontal lobe of the brain is not fully developed until age 24-25 is greatly under-valued in guiding relationships. It should just be outlawed to get into any bonding ceremony or even a mortgage with another person until the age of 26. We, as a population, are simply not "complete" people capable of making a life-ling decision and commitment until that biological age. I mean I remember what a stark difference turning 25 was for me in terms of my overall maturity and ability to critically and objectively think about myself, my family, my friends, and even coworkers, etc.  I feel like a lot of the "filters" placed on us growing up essentially gets lifted by that age.

That said I think your assertions of what a couple should be before they get married is very western.  It goes against centuries of "successful" arranged marriages where parents and match makers were the main decision-makers. 

 

[Phil B]

Today I knolled dinner ...



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[keymomachine]

On 3/19/2023 at 9:14 PM, exracer327 said:

Saw Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves today with my family (amazon prime early preview).  We liked it. Jokes were funny, dialogue was decent (some of it was excellent,) characters were good.  There was a cool "cameo" for fans of the D&D cartoon from the late 1980s.  It felt like they kept pretty true to the D&D world.

I'm not saying it was perfect but it was fun.  My high school age daughter, who plays D&D with friends, said it is her favorite movie.  She liked it way more than Free Guy.  It's not Lord of the Rings, but it is a fun, light-hearted, fantasy genre movie with decent action.

BTW: There is a short mid-credit scene after the movie that is worth the wait.

My wife and I watched the Dungeons and Dragons movie last week and really enjoyed it. It was fun and refreshing. Definitely recommend it.